POSITANO- It may appear that if you could only eliminate the negative or destructive cycles in relationships, then all would be well and the relationship would flower beautifully- but alas this is not possibile The polarities are mutually interdependent. You cannot have one without the other. The positive already contains within itself the as yet unmanifested negative. Both are in fact different aspects of the same dysfunction. I am speaking here of what is commonly called romantic relationships.-not of true love which has no opposite because it arises fro beyond the mind. Love as a continuous state is as yet very rare-as rare as conscious human beings. Brief and elusive glimpses of love, however, are possibile whenever there is a gap in the stream of mind.
The negative side of a relationship is, of course, more easily recognizable as dysfunctional than the positive one. And it is also easier to recognize the source of negativity in your partner than to see it in yourself. It can manifest in many forms:possessiveness, jealousy,control, withdrawl and unspoken resentment, the need to be right, insensitivity and self-absorption, emotional demands and manipulation, the urge to argue, criticize, judge, blame, or attack, anger, unconscious revenge for past pain inflicted by a parent, rage and physical violence. (If you can think of others let me know)
You cannot "love" your partner one moment and attack him or her the next. "True Love" has no opposite. If your "love" has an opposite , then it is not love but a strong ego need for a more complete and deeper sense of self,a need that the other person temporarily meets.
(Next week some positive traits)
sincerely
Francesco
www.ucim.it
www.facim.com
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